l’esprit de l’escalier

l’esprit de l’escalier

:  wit of the staircase :  repartee thought of only too late, on the way home

l'esprit de l'escalier

My first encounter with this spot-on expression was during one of my endless scrolls through my Tumblr dash. I had never before come across a word/expression that had so perfectly encapsulated that pang in your gut and frustrated sigh that comes after thinking of everything you failed to say post-conversation. The French definitely get it.

So anyway. For me, the expression usually applies after I’ve talked to someone I’m hopelessly romantically interested in and I’ve made a complete idiot of myself, but this time it bears slightly heavier weight. Slightly.

Cue personal rant in getting down all of my feelings of regret and second-guessing after internship interviews and applications. I don’t know if there’s ever been a time when I’ve walked away from something-whether the outcome was positive or negative-and thought to myself, “Nailed it!” I’ve always considered myself fairly good at interviews-not that that changes how damn nervous I get every time. But I always think I could have done better or given a better, more thoughtful and more articulated answer. Maybe it just comes with practice and mastery of my anxiety. I don’t know. I plan to say so many things, maintain authenticity and professionalism…but that all seems to go out the window and I think I just sound like a blabbering, stuttering, straight-up fool. New tattoo? Please just hire me. Right across the forehead. No more needs to be said nor questioned. Yeah, I’m thinking it’ll be gold.

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